A great man once said 'Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive!', it's a creed i've always tried to live by, and this is it's story.
-
Dude:
so you know a guy called Tom?
-
Me:
yeah. Know a few why?
-
Dude:
my lass is always on about him. I think she's fucking him behind my back.
-
Me:
really. Who's your lass?
-
Dude:
the little lass dancing over there (he points to a pretty brunette).
-
Me:
oh Sara. Never knew she had a boyfriend. Congrats mate. (this all being said whilst edging towards the exit).
-
Dude:
I'm ben. What's your name?
-
-
Dude:
fancy a drink mate?
-
Me:
why not. Was going to go and get some sleep before work tomorrow. And being a dentist is hard work mate.
-
Dude:
no way. You're not old enough!
-
Me:
I'm 32 in December mate.
-
Dude:
really?! Would never have guessed.
-
Me:
so how long you been seeing Sara?
-
-
-
Dude:
I live in Barnsley. So don't get over much.
-
-
Dude:
thinking about proposing this weekend.
-
Me:
(after spitting out some drink) you shouldn't rush into things mate. You don't know what she's done with this Tim guy.
-
-
Me:
whatever. Once a cheat always a cheat. And remember this Tim character might not have known that she was seeing someone. I mean you can't fault a guy if the lass doesn't say she's seeing someone can you?
-
Dude:
yeah I suppose. And his name is tom. But what do I do then? Quick she's coming over.
-
Me:
buy her a vodka fresh orange, and pretends nothings happened, and treat her like a princess. You never know she might not have fucked him. (smirk) and if she does admit it, forgive her, fuck her, then leave her.
-
Dude:
yeah I suppose, but it's a bit nasty though. Good choice on drink. It's her favourite.
-
Me:
really? Wow. Lucky. Gotta go now mate. See ya.
-
-
Me:
(walks out the door overhearing Sara ask the dude where 'tom' was going)
-
-
Names have been changed to protect the stupid. Well, all names bar mine. Lol.
