Life Or Something Like It: Archive

test

Nov 7th

Nov 5th

1 note

Oct 28th

Oct 27th

1 note

Oct 26th

Stealth K2 exit.

Dude: so you know a guy called Tom?
Me: yeah. Know a few why?
Dude: my lass is always on about him. I think she's fucking him behind my back. 
Me: really. Who's your lass?
Dude: the little lass dancing over there (he points to a pretty brunette). 
Me: oh Sara. Never knew she had a boyfriend. Congrats mate. (this all being said whilst edging towards the exit). 
Dude: I'm ben. What's your name?
Me: Dave. 
Dude: fancy a drink mate?
Me: why not. Was going to go and get some sleep before work tomorrow. And being a dentist is hard work mate. 
Dude: no way. You're not old enough!
Me: I'm 32 in December mate. 
Dude: really?! Would never have guessed. 
Me: so how long you been seeing Sara?
Dude: about 2 years now. 
Me: really? Wow. 
Dude: I live in Barnsley. So don't get over much.
Me: ah I see. 
Dude: thinking about proposing this weekend. 
Me: (after spitting out some drink) you shouldn't rush into things mate. You don't know what she's done with this Tim guy. 
Dude: it's Tom. 
Me: whatever. Once a cheat always a cheat. And remember this Tim character might not have known that she was seeing someone. I mean you can't fault a guy if the lass doesn't say she's seeing someone can you?
Dude: yeah I suppose. And his name is tom. But what do I do then? Quick she's coming over. 
Me: buy her a vodka fresh orange, and pretends nothings happened, and treat her like a princess. You never know she might not have fucked him. (smirk) and if she does admit it, forgive her, fuck her, then leave her. 
Dude: yeah I suppose, but it's a bit nasty though. Good choice on drink. It's her favourite. 
Me: really? Wow. Lucky. Gotta go now mate. See ya. 
Dude: see ya. 
Me: (walks out the door overhearing Sara ask the dude where 'tom' was going)
Dude: little bastard. 
 Names have been changed to protect the stupid. Well, all names bar mine. Lol.

Oct 22nd

Oct 19th

“It isn’t what they say about you, it’s what they whisper.”

– EF regarding me ;)

Oct 13th

Oct 12th

Oct 10th

“I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not...”

– Michael Jordan

Oct 4th

“The sound of your piss hitting the urinal, it sounds feminine. If you were in...”

– Terry Hoitz

Oct 2nd

Sep 30th

Sep 23rd

Sep 21st

“Yes you’re funny, yes you’re intelligent, and yes you’re very...”

– Moi

Sep 16th

Sep 1st

Aug 26th

Aug 11th

Aug 6th

“I was watering at the lips…”

– Dianabot

Aug 5th

Aug 2nd

Aug 1st

Watch

One word. Awesome.

Jul 29th

Watch

I know i was late with this… but damn! SF vs TK thought it would never happen.

Jul 25th

tumblrbot asked: WHERE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO VISIT ON YOUR PLANET?

Jul 24th

“Fun fact: Apologies go better when you’re on your knees.”

– Darth Vader

Jul 23rd

They don't make sluts like they used to... →

Jul 21st

Jul 18th

Watch

Evo 2010.

Jul 17th

Jul 15th

“I take it all!”

– The Boot

Jul 5th

“In life, if you don’t risk anything, you risk everything.”

– Anon

Jun 30th

Watch

All women who have been Facebook stalked need to watch this, its hilarious. And yes some of my ‘not so social’ male friends do this… i’m sure of it… why? i don’t know, but it does happen!

Jun 22nd

“Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is...”

– John Wooden

Jun 5th

Water

Just read the article in National Geographic about water. Wow, it blew me away. Read it asap, you won’t be disappointed.

May 29th

Trust...

So who the fuck let on that i’m seeing someone… I know it wasn’t Bargett so don’t even blame him!!! Whoever it was, you nearly fucked up my night… Knobs!!

May 28th

“I’ll put my bum on you.”

– Dianabot

May 28th

“You’ve hijacked my mind…”

– Me

May 27th

“Smell my hand!”

– Dianabot

May 20th

May 18th

May 13th